


Pick-up Lines 101

by FeyduBois



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Fluff, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 14:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2391596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeyduBois/pseuds/FeyduBois
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pick-up Lines 101 as taught by Dr D. Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick-up Lines 101

**Author's Note:**

> Another fill done for this: cowboyguy.livejournal.com/65825.html The prompt goes: "After making a bad first impression with Jessica (I'll leave whatever he did up to you) Sam calls up his brother for a little advice on how to handle the opposite sex. Bonus: Dean's advice doesn't really work on Jessica (it's too cheesy, etc.) and Sam wins her over by being his adorable self."

She was so pretty. 

Sam couldn't remember the name of the blonde woman he was watching, but her face was familiar from one of his classes... philosophy maybe? Introductory poly-sci? He wasn't sure, but it was a Thursday night, also known as the student's Friday since there were few courses running Fridays and many students worked weekends. There was an open-mic going on at the campus pub and some guy with long, oily hair was playing a guitar. Not badly, but probably not well enough to be on a stage.

Sam sat a little ways away from her, he could see her though the moving crowd of people, the scampering staff and the students in party-mode pressing around the small, L-shaped pub. Dusk was falling outside on the campus green, orange light washing the stage. Outside it was still strangely lush for late September because this was California, Sam mused, and everyone else was way overdressed, it was barely less than 65 degrees and they were all in sweaters already.

The next up on stage was a girl with an accordion and the quirkiest, weirdest sense of humour Sam had ever witnessed; at first the audience wasn't sure what to make of her, but her friend, the blonde Sam had been eyeing up, was cheering her on heartily and soon others began to laugh and clap at her jokes.

Sam fiddled with his phone and then texted Dean:  
\- you busy? I need some advice

\- sure whats up?

\- I'm at a pub and there's this girl

Dean set the bloodied knife that he was just about to start cleaning in the motel sink and wiped his hands on his shirt. He grinned and sat down on the bed, popping open a beer with his key-chain bottle opener and grinning to himself; this was something he could help with, he'd been worried Sam that was going to ask him for help with homework or something.  
\- she cute?

\- very.

\- okay, so you're at a bar, is she drinking? pickup lines work on drunk girls

\- it's a campus pub, I don't think she's dumb enough to fall for those

\- oh, I've got a good one! tell her she looks familiar and ask if you take a class together

\- I don't think this will work

\- just do it! and do a shot first!

Sam sighed and stood up, finishing his beer and going to the bar. He ordered a shot of tequila and did it straight, following it with lime, and then attempted to walk to the girl's table as nonchalant as possible. 

Sam texted Dean:   
\- good nights start with tequila, right?

\- atta boy

Her friend was done her comedy routine and had gone out to her car to put away the accordion (not a small instrument by any means) so she was alone. Sam stood in front of the table and gave her an awkward half smile, his phone in hand. “Hi,” he said.

“Hello.”

“Um... you look familiar, are we taking a class together?”

“Actually, yes, you're in my philosophy 101, right? Tuesday afternoons?”

Sam glanced at his phone, as it dinged with the second part of the line:  
\- Now, when she says no, you say Really? I could have sworn we had chemistry.

“I could have sworn we had chemistry.”

“No, I'm not taking chemistry, but I'm pretty certain I saw you in Mr Bear's philosophy class earlier this week.”

“Yeah, that was me. I'm not taking chem either.”

“Are you a philosophy major?”

“Pre-law.”

“Cool, I'm pre-med. My name's Jessica.”

“Sam.”

His phone dinged again and he glanced down to read:  
\- Here's a good one: if sexy was a crime I'd arrest you

“I'll arrest you.”

“What?”

“Um... I mean... if being sexy was a crime I would put you in handcuffs, 'cause you're...” Sam broke out into a nervous sweat, “Um... arresting...”

Jessica laughed lightly, “Uh, thank you.”

Dean texted: - Can I take your picture?

“Can I take your picture?”

“No,” Jessica backed away from him a little.

\- I need to prove to my friends that angels exist

“God, sorry, that sounded creepy... I just mean, you're very...” Sam didn't know what to say. He looked to Dean for advice, as he had always done:  
\- Do you have a map?

“Do you have a map?”

“Of what?”

\- I'm lost in your eyes

“Your eyes.”

“Huh?”

“I'm lost in your eyes, do you have a map?”

Jessica giggled a little, “I don't, but thank you... you're a little strange.”

\- are you a fruit

“Are you a fruit?”

“No. You might be.”

\- honey dew you look tasty

“Honey dew you look tasty.”

She laughed, “Where on Earth are you getting these from? Your phone?”

Sam exhaled, letting his shoulders sag, “Sorry, they're lame and cheesy, I'll leave you alone now.”

“No no, they're so bad they're hilarious.”

His phone dinged again and he read it uneasily: - Did you sit in a pile of sugar?

“What does it say?”

“I shouldn't keep bothering you, I'll just go...”

“No no, I wanna hear it.”

“Did you sit in a pile of sugar?”

"No, why?"

\- you have a sweet ass

Sam went red when he read that and clammed up.

“What does it say? C'mon, Sam.”

“You have a sweet ass.”

Jess laughed at that one.

"Who is feeding you these lines?”

“My brother, he can be a bit... yeah,” Sam stared at his shoes, “I'm sorry for subjecting you to those, they're pretty awful.”

“No, I mean, they are dreadful, but so bad that they're funny, like a B-horror flick.”

He noticed her empty glass, “Can I buy you a drink to apologize?”

“Sure."

"What do you like?" 

"I've been getting the house lager.”

“Sweet, I'll be right back.”

Sam went back to the bar and got two beers. It turned out they were on special and not exorbitantly expensive; he liked a girl down-to-earth enough to enjoy beer. He brought them back to the table to find that Jessica's friend, the accordion player, was back.

“Clarissa, this is Sam, Sam, Clarissa.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Jessica commended her friend's performance, but Clarissa was soon taken up aside by another friend and Jessica turned back to Sam, “So, your brother?”

“Yeah,” Sam grinned, “You know what? Let's start this from the top. I wanted to talk to you, so my brother recommended pick-up lines, I told him they wouldn't work on a smart girl like you, but he insisted.”

“He sounds like a character. I've got a little sister who tries to get me dates by putting me in her clothes, only her body shape is totally different... she's way shorter, tiny all over, except that her breasts are bigger, so you can imagine her clothes look a little weird on me, and she complains afterwards that I stretch them.”

Sam was mentally putting together the picture, a too-short skirt and bursting blouse buttons, but had to stop himself, “Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad.”

“Also, she has a thing for multiple animal prints and sequins.”

“Oh...”

“Yeah, it's not really my style, always feels really ridiculous when she dresses me up for a night of clubbing. I hate clubbing, would much rather sit in a pub like this and talk. You can't hear anything over the music in those places, and all the guys are total creeps.”

Sam reflected that a few minutes ago he probably would have been a 'total creep' for asking for her picture or saying that she had a sweet ass, but cheesy pickup lines weren't any more his style than leopard prints were Jessica's, and he was starting to like her more for it. They fell into easy conversation and by the end Sam had a phone number and a study-buddy for philosophy who would, eventually, become more.

**Author's Note:**

> This probably will get a second edit later, I haven't let it age appropriately yet so please let me know of any spelling glitches or inconsistencies!


End file.
